A Gentle Way Of Being

Do you notice sparks of magic happening around you? Do you wonder when the little things fall into place, effortlessly..? Meaning, do you have a sense of wonder..?

It’s said that miracles are the usual, natural unfolding of things, and yet, do we notice when miracles occur? Or do we think that miracles may occur, but not so much to us!?

But when you happen to notice the little sparks of magic, do you give a little nod of acknowledgement? An inner smile to the beautiful order and alignment in life (even when the outside world may seem chaotic and haphazard…).

It seems that just the acknowledging of the smallest of flickers of awe in our lives, readies the path for even more of them to unfold. It appears that there are other, positively-reciprocal and reinforcing ways in which we can carve even more miracles to occur for us…

‘Grace’, as it might otherwise be called, shows itself in accepting. In focussing on kind, considerate ‘other’-oriented patterns and behaviours of being and navigating life with a heart-oriented approach…

When we choose to experience our day to day in an unassuming manner, where we consciously try to disconnect from expectations, and where we attribute no blame to situations which arise, but accept responsibility in a considered way, and in the realisation that we have a role to play in what all that is being reflected back to us…grace has more bandwidth for our personal antennae to tune into.

Acceptance seems to be a necessary pillar of this, and yet arguably one of the hardest to enable. We like control! (We think we’re in control!) And yet, we often give away our power over what we’re actually in control of, to external sources (authority, ‘rules’, expectations…)

We’re actually only ever in control of ourselves – our reactions and the way in which we interact with others. Mastering this, is no mean feat, so it turns out! It means digging deep into our conditioned patterns and habits, and our (usually, long-held) beliefs.

Of course, on doing this, we don’t have to reject everything we find sometimes hidden underneath layers and layers. But acceptance – accepting our self in spite of what we actually find when we look a little closer – is a very gentle way of living with ourselves. A gentler way of being…

Sometimes it’s easier to start with accepting others. And with that, releasing any control (that we perceive) that we try to assert over anyone else. Even when things are going ‘pear shaped’, or feel ‘out of control’. We really and truly only have control over ourselves.

We all readily accept, though, that for example, on some days the ocean is calm as a millpond, and on other days it’s as choppy as you like! We don’t try and change how it is, what the ocean itself is expressing. On the rough days we treat the churning seas with respect and when its smooth sailing, we’re thankful for the conditions.

Why would we try and control the seas? How do we even think we’d do so anyway…?,

Perhaps all of life is like this. Some days flow, other days the territory is a little murky…

And yet with the ocean, we know that what we experience on the surface belies a much deeper calm beneath – whatever the weather. We know that this is true, when we turn our attention to it. And we can trust that this is always true

And so too with life. The day to day stuff may be like the waves… Not to dismiss any importance – those superficial waves can cause havoc when caught up in them. Beneath the surface turbulence is a calm nature – nature is inherently at balanced and at peace. Do we trust this? Do we graciously accept the rocky moments that life throws at all of us, knowing that this calm will surface again, if we connect to that deeper knowing…?

Of course, we can choose when to set sail. Even when the seas sore rough, we can always patiently wait for the storm to pass, ensure that our boat is in good order in the interim and then start our voyage when calm returns once more.

This is all metaphor, but nevertheless, it’s all possible in our daily experience.

We do get to choose how we interact with the conditions which arise…even if they’re unexpected and challenging to navigate.

However, if we still end up in the middle of the sea when it gets a bit choppy, we trust that we’ve put in the right work to keep the ship watertight (our inner work) and we focus on keeping ourselves afloat and on course. It’s all we can ever do!

Doing only, that which is in our power to affect (but doing as much as we can of that), rather than attempting to control that which isn’t…

Engaging with life in this way – in the way that we accept and trust in some greater order than whatever may appear on the surface of things – we will find that we connect to our lives in a more gentle way. That grace shows itself. Those miraculous moments of magic. That we feel more at peace when we’re not grasping at trying to control anything (or everything!)…

We can’t push or force anything, or ‘try’ to create anything with any under our own insistence – ‘everything’ only ever appears in its jolly own good time anyway! Just as the storm passes in its own good time, and even on the calm days, the waves break only when they’re good and ready! In the flow of things, they always and only ever arise right on time.

Yes, of course, we can act with purpose and intention and use the forces of courage and determination and diligence, but we will never, ever control anything to occur that’s not ready to occur. And when we accept that just a little bit, life just becomes a little bit more, well, gentle…


Image by Shifaaz Shamoon