Mind the lag

There’s a transition phase to everything. A pause between the desired ‘what might be’, and that same thing unfolding.

And we have to go through that pause. It’s the process.

Sometimes it’s super short-lived. Sometimes your can throw out a query or conundrum into the ether, and you receive the answer back by the end of the day, or even within moments!

And sometimes the transition feels as if it’s taking forever…especially when you feel really ready for it. And especially if you’re feeling impatient for the change to take place – as if it’s overdue! (Time will almost always stretch itself out good and proper when we sprinkle a little impatience into our emotional world!)


Flowing through the process

When we’re in the middle of a shift process, there are some cheeky tricks to help stack the flow feelings in our favour… here’s how it works:

You may have made the decision to change your circumstances – to move, to change jobs, to leave a relationship, to be free, once-and-for-all of the excess weight…

You’ve mulled and mulled, you’ve talked it through and talked it out, you’ve talked the ear off almost everyone, and now that’s it! You’ve reached your decision! You’re wholeheartedly putting your gusto behind it, and you’re going after it!

And then nothing… Nothing. The weight’s not shifting, the housing market has stagnated, no one’s responding to your applications…

The lag-phase has kicked in, and it’s proving to be more stubborn than you’d imagined! Progress has stalled and the nomansland is starting to test your resolve.



The pause is there for one because matter is more dense than our thoughts.

Both are energy, of course. Your decision may have been decisive – this is what I’m going to do! – even if it was slightly protracted itself, but our mental energy can and does move quickly. Just notice how many things you ‘think’ about in the course of a day…

But the physical energy of form takes longer to move. Literally because it’s heavier, more dense, less malleable and more bulky, the process of going from decision-making to fruition comes with a Bruce-bonus delay in our time-space continuum.



But for two – the lag is there to test our resolve!

The lag’s in place to say, ‘how determined are you? Are you really committed?’…it’s there’s to badger you and make sure that you’ve squared everything away that needs squaring away, to tell everyone that needs telling…

The lag is sometimes there to give you the breathing space in order to make the transition easier, even if sometimes we just want to GET THERE!

But the lag may be there to serve a different kind of purpose – to ensure that have learned all that you needed to learn from the original situation… And sometimes those lesssons can come wrapped up in some degree of pain, emotionally-speaking – as if, the lag is asking us to purge our pain fully and completely before it will let us move on!

As my husband loves to say, if it were easy, everyone would be doing it… (Whatever it may be for you…)


Dealing with the delay

Depending in your disposition, a spanner in the works may show itself as  impatience, or frustration, or giving up?, or as losing a little courage to see the change through, or retreating and putting up with the status quo…

There are ways to help ease ourselves through the challenges.

Firstly, surrounding yourself with support. Be it your best girlfriend, be it your chap, or be it a troupe of removal men!? Leaning on others when we’re being tested over and over is essential. Well, leaning a little bit! Not wholly expecting A.N. Other to take the brunt of our load.  No one can do these things for us! (Here’s where we need to keep our courage steadfast…)

Secondly, to retain some threads of continuity in your life; something ‘normal’ to fall back on. Like…running perhaps?!

Running, or exercise, is a double positive whammy as well – if it’s the thing that you can rely on, where you feel on terra firma when everything else feels fully out at sea!? But also, exercise is a sure fire way to release some of those excess emotions into the ether. Running also brings us right into the next cheeky trick…

And that is the most steadfast way to overcome the pesky lag to our next phase – to keep coming back to the present moment. To keep yourself firmly seated in the what is, right now.

Because some of our pain (frustration, impatience and so on) during the shift arises from a fear around the unknown, from the things we can’t control, from the surmising about the future, and from resisting, or rejecting the ‘what is’ for what we’d rather have, or be doing, or be living, or…

Connecting to the right now and accepting the what is, right now, can powerfully help us to avoid the challenges that feel associated with a move or a change or a life shift…

Seating ourselves in the what is right now, with a modicum of grace and acceptance…until all of a sudden we’ll wake up and lo and behold, we’ll be in a brand new what is! Until we start itching for something else…to start the process all over again?!

Right here right now is the only place to stay focussed to avoid the pain of the lag, and allow the shift to take place anyway


Are you dealing with a delay right now? How have you been playing the process? Let us know here.