No matter which facet of life we’re concerned with, the evolution of how and why it’s unfolded into what it is today is super important for us to unpick…
Because it’s only from digger deeper into the backstory that we gather a deeper understanding of the complexities of the current situation – the intricate layers of the whys and wherefores. It’s our history essentially; why we find ourselves where we are today is because of all of our yesterdays.
Once we’re better informed about the whys…then we can move to the essential acceptance and forgiveness parts – where we’re able to be more compassionate, display greater amounts of empathy, and ultimately radically reduce conflict and ‘misunderstanding’.
And yet here’s the rub:
We are a function of our yesterdays, and yet nothing from the past matters.
I know. Read it again – nothing from the past matters. For (at least) 3 reasons:
- We can’t change it. It’s been, it’s gone. Understanding it is key, accepting it essential, but holding on to it, bringing it up over and over again – futile. And yet almost all of us find ourselves reliving the past again and again, obsessed by it! Keeping us stuck there…
- We only have right now. Here is where we are. Right here, right now. If we don’t like how right now is, by spending our time in denial, or in blame or recounting and reliving what has been, we rob ourselves of our only choice, which is –
- What are we going to do about what we find? The only thing that we have any control over is what we’re going to from right here, right now.
And this same process is applicable to every single thing that we see around us – personally and as a society.
The rub in action
If we don’t like the girths of our body, or maybe we’re addicted to our phone…? Understand why they are as they are (maybe we’ve been comfort eating? Are we simply stuck in an unproductive loop…? Why? Is it loneliness? Is it about distracting ourselves from something that really needs exploring further?).
Accept that is how it has been – that requires showing ourselves a tremendous amount of compassion, and invariably talking it out with a friend or a loved one. No one said facing the hard stuff head-on was easy, but we can’t change yesterday’s behaviour, simply ask –
‘What are you going to do about it, today?’
Of course there are umpteen options here – changing something about our current situation (and remember to Mind the lag if you opt for this one); seek the help of a counsellor if there are some things to process; look for a partner; start joining some clubs; start running!, get a pet. Switch off your wifi…?
Umpteen creative options are available to us…
If we’re not happy with the state of our health?
Understanding more about how health really works first off is unbelievably important here! Understanding why our health really is a function of all of our yesterdays is the key to inducing vibrant, vitality back into your life.
And then, compassionately accepting that we didn’t know what we didn’t know. None of that matters. There’s no blame to attribute for that – whatsoever. We are all doing the best that we can given our particular set of circumstances.
Unless we’re not, that is… Unless we’re actively not operating at our best (and know it).
And in which case, we still have only one thing to concern yourself with to live in our fullest capacity – what are we going to do differently? From right here, right now? How do we need to act differently to take 100% of the responsibility for ourselves?
What different options can we make, and which new choices are we going to make?
What different beliefs are we going to start believing about our health potential, and about ourselves?
Dig a little deeper
Is there anything else about how things are right now that doesn’t please you?
Dig a little deeper, why are they like that? What cultural reasons lie behind the behaviour? What prompts someone to act that way? How were they hurt in the past? How were you hurt in the past? What is today’s behaviour a repeated function of?
Remain eternally inquisitive.
Why the argy-bargy? What’s the political agenda behind the action…? (You may well open a can of worms with this one…but don’t let that stop you! Perhaps you were supposed to be the person that brings the light to it…?)
Understand the history, and then, ‘Oh, ok. That’s how it’s been. What do I want to do differently from today? From right now. What am I no longer willing to tolerate, and what can I do about it?’
Accept. And move forward.
Without understanding our past, we actually can’t find forgiveness. Acceptance and forgiveness right now. Then a new action; different choices from here.
It’s the only model that works.
Maybe take some time today to consider what may be causing you some consternation right now, and ask – what’s the history to this? What’s behind the scenes? Where do I need to find out more, to better understand this…? What didn’t I know then (and can appreciate now)?